For so long I have struggled with being content with the things around me, so I intentionally slow down and focus and give things more time. As of late, I feel as if my life has one way and that is forward. Why waste time on things you know are not going to work out? Relationships, jobs, an more...The older I get I search for the perfect woman harder and harder. The harder I try the more things seem to get out of control. However with this being said, these types of situations bring new and exciting opportuntities into my personal life. My whole life I have been a good boy, doing all of the right things for all of the right reasons. Even though I am still doing those things, is there a balance that I could find? If life continues down this path my previous 30 years of age have gone so quickly it is getting difficult to remember where I came from. I am always living for the future therefore never in present creating a new past. It is very ironic with my personality. I strive and strive, and strive to do my best and get ahead in every aspect of my life, but somehow I for get to live it? I am unhappy, I am sad, my heart hurts, and i miss my past....What does this mean? Sometimes I cry at night cause I am lonely, or not where I want to be. Does everyone feel this way, if they do, we are all missing something.
I am a Christian man, no matter how far I stray from God, or feel far from him, I know he is with me, guiding me and supporting me. I know my life would be so much better with him in it, and he is only the thing that allows me to focus on the present and the tasks at hand than anything else. This is why I struggle, I believe this is why the majority of the people you meet feel like they havent reached their potential. This why I need to focus on GOD. Private victories than public victories...
